Let me begin by saying that dating a married man is something you ABSOLUTELY shouldn’t do. I’d wear my moral hat and tell you it is wrong and God frowns at it, but I mean, if I’m giving you tips on dating a married man, it means I don’t qualify to wear one, right?
So, here’s what I’ll tell you, there is no winning when you date someone else’s husband. You will always be number 2 and that is a very heartbreaking position to be in. So sis, save yourself and your cute little heart the stress and run as far as your legs can carry you from that knight with a shining band on his 4th finger.
If we’re being honest though, at the end of the day, the heart wants what it wants, and if it so decides that it’s a married man, it would be near impossible to talk it out of it.
Below are a few tips to help you get the best out of an affair, If you ever decide to embark on one.
Draw up a schedule from the onset
At the very start of the relationship, draw up a calendar that works for the both of you (especially him) and then for your sanity sake, stick to it and don’t expect more. If you guys agree on Wednesdays and Thursdays, then that’s what you get. Don’t go asking for more and even more importantly, do not get too mad when he doesn’t show up on the scheduled days because, Madam might need him for one thing or the other and well, priorities…
Do NOT ask to be introduced to his family or friends
As much as you’d want to show off just how “beautiful” a thing you both have going on, you’ve got to realise and always keep in mind that you’re a secret and the society frowns at your type of relationship. So, don’t mount pressure on him to introduce you to his circle and if he ever decides to, my advice would be, say no. You never know who in his circle knows someone who knows someone who knows you. Plus all that show off might ruin your chances of getting YOUR OWN man – because sis, this one is not yours.
Do NOT speak ill of Madam
Whatever your thoughts on his wife may be, whether she’s ugly, an mgbeke, or doesn’t treat him well, keep them to yourself. No matter how tempting it is to chip in something when he comes complaining to you about her, never ever fall into the temptation of badmouthing her. It is bad enough that you’re already sleeping with HER man and causing her some level of pain. And irrespective of how you feel about it, don’t forget that he married her for a reason and most men do not appreciate their wife being disrespected (by anyone other than them).
Do NOT put your life on hold for him
Let’s get one thing straight – he is NEVER leaving his wife for you. He might promise and swear on his late mother’s grave that he will and that he is working towards it but sis, those promises are just as empty as the change APC promised Nigerians. So please, go out with your friends, travel alone, have fun, meet other people. Do not sit around waiting for him because a few years from now, he’ll decide you’re no longer good or young enough and discard you for a younger and more flexible babygirl.
ALWAYS be prepared to move on
This is not a real relationship sis, and you don’t have any real claim on this man. He will leave when he decides he’s had enough or when his wife finds out and there is really nothing you can do about it. Don’t pine, don’t blow up his phone and don’t call his wife or family. Just dust your ass up and keep it moving because ees all over Jackie!
Bonus tip: You might need to check your self-esteem sis, because it takes a whole lot of low self-esteem for you to decide you don’t deserve better than crumbs.