We see how the different seasons unfold. The Prime Mover and the centre force of the of the Teleological Argument- God, causes it. And just with the same Omni-potency, God created man and women with similar but yet different biological functions. The mere fact that both man and woman respond to external and internal stimulus coupled with high cognitive skills makes us higher animals. Both men and women can relate to that. A man can feel physical pain as a result of the sense of touch and so can a woman. A man can feel psychological and emotional pain when he loses a dear one and so can a woman. If a man chooses to express his hurt by crying, it is a natural and biological response to stimuli. Crying is not an unnatural exercise. The Design Argument explains that God who is the Original Designer, designed our systems to function that way. Man did and does not create tear ducts nor tear production, so he has no duty nor supreme right to command when and how such is to be used. God created it and made them to function a particular way and so it does!
So, you understand now that the expression of emotions is natural and God-given, très bien! First Conclusion.
Everyone does not have to subscribe to stereotypes. Why? Simply put, stereotypes are social constructs that are created by society and have no true or real backings/determinants. Social constructs stem from what a society consisting of mere mortals generate, decide and conclude and then dictate the way natural order should ensue. Par exemple; the common phrase we all can relate to: ‘A lady should be seen and not heard.’ God cannot dictate that because surely, when moulding females, he would have muted them. A patriarchy ‘socially constructed’ this phenomenon (and oh, many others) to limit the power of women and confine them to a certain ‘ideal or standard’. Generations then begin to pass this down until it becomes an unfalsified truth:- an almost unbreakable stereotype.
So, you understand what I mean by ‘social construct’, bravo!. Second Conclusion
Enough of girls and ladies. ‘Men don’t cry’ or ‘men don’t show their emotions if not they will be perceived as weak.’ This happens to be one of the most problematic phenomena because this ascribes to what is called the ‘Toxic Masculinity’. This is a social construct perpetrated by patriarchy to depict men as strong, powerful and in control. However, men should cry, men should show emotions because they are human. God made us empathetic beings. It is natural to express empathy and emotions. This does not make men lesser than women. But this shows that they are human as well and not robots. When men don’t express their true feelings, they then tend to take it out in different ways or manifest in different forms e.g. drug abuse, physical abuse, long term depression, confusion, accumulated anger, bitterness etc. Vulnerability is a chance everyone finds themselves in life, whether deliberately (e.g. loving someone) or not (e.g. sudden death of a loved one). Vulnerability is line with God’s purpose for us on earth.
Strength becomes visible when one expresses their feelings without fear of being judged by another party or being ready to face the consequences that come with expressing their truth. A coward or weakling will take the easier route by elevating their ego and shielding off the outward portrayal of their feelings because of fear of being judged or perceived in a certain way. This coward, then becomes worse off because he/she becomes a prisoner in their own self as his/her feeling slowly eats him/her up. In a ring battle with himself/herself, he/she could then dabble into terrible vices.
Did you internalise the different perspective of viewing strength and weakness? Ah, okay we are making progress!
Let’s look at two instances: (a) If you are a man and you lose someone dear to you, it is the standard to cry or be extremely devasted and torn; (b) and if you are a man and you love a woman, it should be the standard to express it to the maximum, because anything that is worth doing is worth doing well! Leave no room for doubt. Respectively, if you are able to bounce back by the next day or second because you are a ‘man’ (instance a) or if you do other-wise by concealing your emotions by 80% and showing just 20% because you are a ‘man and cannot be pouring out all your emotions’ (instance b), I will think you are actually possessed by a spirit that isn’t of God. And that should be brute fact the world should abide by. Because how can you function differently from how God made us to be? But you see, social constructivism or for the sake of simplicity, stereotyping are giving false truths in an Ungodly way! We need to learn the truths and unlearn the lies that come with stereotyping.
To a brother Ozo, you are a true man who expresses nothing but pure and Godly emotions. You are a God’s show off to the humanity because you have exhibited synonymous traits to His Son, Jesus. You have shown that in loving someone, you express servitude. Just like how Jesus washed the feet of His beloved disciples. You have broken all the stereotypes attached to what a man should be and has shown the world that to love is to sacrifice your own self and yourself image. And how did God show his greatest love for the human race…? You have shown that once you have faith and hope as small as a mustard seed, you believe you can move mountains and conquer. You have shown that you understand the concept of nothing good comes easy and that quitting is not an option until you succeed. Ozo any woman would be blessed to call you hers.
May all men understand that this is the Godly standard to work with. If you have not received outright rejection from a woman what then stops you from accepting the challenge to persist? How has Ozo become a ‘mumu’ because he is head over heels in love with a girl and almost cannot function without her? It takes courage to love someone and then back it up with actions until the feelings become mutual. If that’s why you are calling him a ‘mumu’ then I will certainly like a man to be a ‘mumu’ for me. Men do better in expressing yourselves. There is strength that comes with it and it’s a beautiful kind of strength.